In a town that’s dark and gray, we will have a sunny day.

Last week my sister Madeleine and I met up with a friend to go shopping. In the morning when we left the skies were gray and rain was pouring!!! But at about 1:00 the skies cleared up, leaving me in rain boots until 10:00 that night.

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Flower crown: Forever 21
Shirt: J Crew
Skirt: Charlotte Russe
Rain boots: Target

Raindrops – Regina Spektor

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Not quite Insomnia.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Listening to: 18 by Steve Moakler

Nighttime is when my thoughts roam. So many times I lie in bed intending to fall asleep but instead my brain starts running faster, so many times I want to get up at that moment and accomplish whatever is on my mind. Nighttime is when I replay my day, or any dumb decisions I have made in the past month. I repeat the moment in my head…. Only with a different outcome or response. Every night I organize my thoughts shutting them down one at a time.

I hate lying in bed waiting for the day to come. No one ever says it but practicing, guessing, and replaying the moment in your head can be better than the actual occurrence itself. The night seems to stretch into years, and seconds into decades.
Patience is not a virtue I possess.

Looking Back.

Today I remembered that I have a blog. Its been a long time since I’ve thought about posting, so I decided to look over old posts and pages. I cringed at many of my 13 year old spelling errors, laughed at drafts that I am glad I never posted, and tried to decipher blurry or bizarre pictures. I enjoyed it though, seeing the documentation of younger and funnier me. Several things have happened in my life lately.

1. I turned 16. Not Sweet16.
Just 16.

2. I am playing basketball again, I can no longer wear dresses because my knees are covered in bruises.

3. My sister is engaged, so I will be a bridesmaid.

4. I went shopping and found a pair of discontinued jeans that I tried to get last year, but they were backordered for months. That was very exciting.
I almost died.

5. I am making Swants, so I will see how that turns out.
(http://westknits.com/index.php/2013/11/swants-tutorial/)

No deep thoughts, pictures, or jokes. Just mundane thoughts.

YOLO

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A few weeks ago at about 11:00 at night, while driving in the car with my parents. I suddenly heard the sound of glass and metal scraping, soil and rocks flew everywhere, and lights blurred. An 18 wheeler was going down a two way road, while a Camry ran a stop sign. The 18 wheeler sliced off the hood of the car and rumbled on, it swerved and almost flipped, it was inches away from hitting the car I was in. The Camry spun off the road. My dad immediately jumped out of our car to see if any lives were taken… none were. The man and the woman got out of the Camry, the man started yelling and cussing at the woman about crashing the car, while she burst into tears and almost passed out from shock. The truck driver limped towards the scene, still stunned about what happened.

I learned two things from this incident.
The first- The man yelling at the woman almost broke my heart, the first words out of his lips were not to assure that she was safe, or to comfort her. But to see if his car was alright.

The second- If the Camry had traveled one foot farther into the street, both of the passengers would have been dead. One minute they were coming home from a party, the movie, or a road trip. I don’t know what they were doing or who they were, but in the course of 10 seconds they could have slipped away from the world, and into the next.

When people say the words YOLO (you only live once), the majority
of the time they mean that they are about to go skinny dipping or eat a whole cake. But in reality, it should mean, I only have one chance to accomplish my goal, to make an impression, and to fulfill my dream. For Christians, that goal should be to honor God.

But back to the story about the man and his car, in a few seconds he could have been gone, the human life is a fragile and unpredictable thing. And his last thoughts would have been about his car…… So at the end of the day, you only live once, what should your goals, commitment, mind set, love, and thoughts be?